Had this uncomfortable feeling today. Maybe im thinking about him and her. he's with her for the past few days. busying. she is helping him with everything, but me? nothing! Feel so useless at times, do i really suit him? Cant feel his care, Cant feel his love and concern. I keep telling myself that he is busy with work that's why. But i could nt help it to think the other way. that he dont love me anymore. staying maybe just for the sake of staying. I dont know weather he like her anot? :( my heart keep telling me wont. he will not. but i dont believe. I dont believe in myself. i mess up alot of things. if he really had a change of heart is also my fault. who can i blame. only myself. haiis. worse feeling ever.
Tueday 25 oct
I miss you dearly! but seems like you are too busy to bother about me. why are u so cold towards me? it make me feel more worse!
Moody
Moody. fall sick. this two days misses you like crazy. before i sleep think of you, wake up first person is you. But to you i dont think its the same. I wanted to talk to you so badly , but your replies are always so short . I know you are busy, you cant really go out with me already. To me i'm okay as long you are still there, although sometimes will feel sian. But i can understand. Used to think that you hurt me alot but than after that day i realize it's the other way round. Trying to save our relationship, but it does not seems to work. Jin tian de ni te bie leng tan. When i asked you if you still like or loved me you have no repy to that, i know you dont like to say. i think to myself the answer, and it's yes. But this two days when im sick i think of you so often, think about the time when we were just together. so happy. But now? everything changed. i dont know weather keeping it going is right for you and me anot. its seems to be so tiring. I never remember you said you loved me. to meit really means something. But maybe im not the one that you will say that to. sometimes i really wish you would sms me just to say that u miss me, not about work. am i really your gf? or just a waitress in the of your gf? I dont know...
finally, it ended.
Baby, you know what, this 3 months that im with you, i feel happy, sad and scare. I dont know why i just cant stop thinking about you today. this is the first night without you with me. i got so many so many to say. but.. i know i need to be strong and stand up. i know you are a v pratical person. but im nt. you are the first one that i think i put my heart into. but i guess i nv do what i suppose to or do like what i said. that's why whenever we quarrel u always say how bad im but nv how good im. yesterday is the fourth time u said break. and i know you mean it. i dont want to, but i guess the time is up. you hurt me the most. Tomorrow i really dont know how to face you. i feel so scare. you are no longer there for me. i remember how we used to be together when we just know each other. but that changed after a month. you always said that i cant take it when i see u and other women together, that's your job. when i trusted you, you said i dont. but i really do. it's just that sometimes i cant help it. whatever it is. its over. im sure you will be better. but for me, i think i need to learn somethings. hope we really still can stay as friends. ily </3
Why do i help you so much? when u asked me i aslo dunnoe what to say. 可能我真得很笨吧, never ask for anything. just wanna be there when you needed help. but there is so much i could do. sorry
MC day
hmm, mc stayed home whole day. damn boring. but bobian, now a days like keep sick, get one damn mc cost me $63 lor! wtf! haiis. better get well, if not i can go bang wall and die liao!
there is something that i always wanted, i thought maybe i could get it. but than somehow i was so wrong. maybe this time i reall have to give up. confuess really dunnoe what should i do. ..
2011
2011
A brand new year! hmm 01012011 is good for me.. I hope the coming months and days it;s gona be the same. :) kinda boring, tomorrow off again wow! but attending harwinder ROM! so happy for her, will take some pic to upload. hee
New Year
Hellooo
It's New Year!!!!! 2011 people! Don't know what to post, just hope that this year will be a great year. I'm going to study starting from April, hope everything will be good. :))) I had a fun new year eve celebration! hahahahahah! i think that's all, celebrating my dad's birthday nowwwwww~kinda sleepy! waiting for the cake now and i ate so much of RICEEEEEEEEE!!! jialet, need to go on some dieting... hmm~~~ byeeeeeee!!!
offfffffff
WOW!
Seems like its gona be a heavy rain! my god, i just hang my clothes out, need to do this to me ma??! well, today off stayed home to do some housework as daddy said IF YOU DUN CLEAN THE HOUSE, YOU ARE NOTTTTT~~ I REPEAT NOTTTTT ALLOW TO GO OUT, understand? sooo i have to clean my house. lols. hahaha but nth much also, just dump all the unwanted things lor, quite easy, heeees~ :s awww Later i'm going out, night time going pub, dear god, pls pls dun let me drink alot. ok it's myself lah. lol well gona continue to sweep the floor and mop, and im done with it!!!!!~
我真的真得很想你，可是为什么你就是不明白。你有想我吗？ 我真的真的好辛苦，我好想你对我好。。。
